A guide from us to you
Titles and Roles
Don’t assume the titles and roles of attendees at a party. If someone looks like a submissive they may surprise you and it is always best practice to simply ask. Important to no is the concept of gender nowadays. Please don’t assume all subs are female and all Dominants are male. At a play party if you know someone is a Domme for example, don’t just walk up to them and go ‘excuse me Mistress’. You may find that you may rub them the wrong way, they may not be attending the party in that capacity OR they simply may prefer a different title. Think as well about relationships, they may reserve their title for someone whom has worked hard to call them that. SO what does that all mean? Best practice is to politely ask how they would like to be addressed… and stick to it. Be aware of names people give in conversation as well. For example: “Hi I am Mistress Sunkist, lovely to meet you Jack, how long have you been into kink?”
And finally, if someone introduces themselves with a grandiose name such as ‘Master God of Flogging’ and you do not feel comfortable calling them that, you absolutely do not have to. Basically come and speak to your hosts, we are absolutely equipped and capable to deal with these situations.
Ownership
Another point we at TheEighthCircle wanted to raise is that submissives, slaves, bottoms etc are not communal property. If you are a Dominant, Top, Master whatever you don’t get to walk into one of our parties and start ordering all the bottoms around- not how it works. Of course you may interact with each other and with consent a Top and a bottom may want to engage in that way for the evening but that is negotiated and accepted from both/ all parties. Common sense at TheEighthCircle is a virtue. If as a Top you demand a bottom to fetch you something without at least a conversation around that first and they tell you to go fuck yourself, that is not being bratty. It means exactly that- go fuck yourself. This works both ways, not all Tops/Dominants attending are YOUR Dominant/Top. Unless it is pre-arranged don’t start throwing yourself at their feet please.
Protocol
Here at TheEighthCircle we will throw themed events- some more relaxed than others. Example- High Protocol nights. Roles will be assigned, everyone will have a chance to confirm their comfortability with the rules etc. Eg: topless submissives/ bottoms to serve drinks, service bottoms for certain acts etc. Usages of titles that are pre-negotiated. Again, your hosts at TheEighthCircle are there to maintain safety and comfortability if you have questions, concerns etc, speak to us, message us. Every situation is different and hence requires individual and personalised responses and actions.
Privacy and Identity
This ties into gender fluidity as well. Please don’t ‘out’ people if you know them in the ‘vanilla’ world. They may keep their kinks well-hidden, have families or friend that would judge them etc. Everyone’s life and culture is different, we celebrate that here at TheEighthCircle. If you know Bob and you work on a construction site with Bob and here they are attending a party as ‘Brenda’ for example, don’t start calling them Bob and talk about work…Use common sense. People often alter genders and identities for themselves within the BDSM community.
Do not ‘out’ individuals for being kinky. Not just important for our parties but kink in general. Respect privacy please if you are mingling outside of the parties with kink and vanilla folk alike without prior discussion with your fellow kinkster please don’t mention it to vanilla individuals- we have all experienced the 50 shades of grey conversation…
Photography
While this is not banned simple rules include: gain consent to all whom are in the picture prior to taking/ posting. No tagging without explicit prior consent from involved persons etc. other than that enjoy looking back on the night and the delicious captures of the kinky moments….
Good rule of thumb, if it’s not obvious, and you are unsure just ask.
Kink scenes vs other scenes
Be aware there are different ways of communicating your interest within different environments. What is acceptable say in the swinging scene doesn’t translate within the kink scene. For example going up to someone and giving them a shoulder rub/ grabbing their ass or a spank may be something totally acceptable at a previous party. Not at TheEighthCircle. Communicate your interest first if there has been no physical interaction between you before. You need permission before you start to get all touchy. Read non- verbal cues. Some bottoms for example may need a signal from their Top to play/ interact/ touch whatever. Remember the concept of theme parties and be aware that you may be the tourist in that culture if attending a kink, fetish, swinging event. Ask for permission to touch and use other people’s toys and equipment, treat it with respect if you have the honour of using it. Most parties at TheEighthCircle will have communal toys and we will tell you where they are. Same rules apply, treat them with respect.
Alcohol and Drugs
Please don’t get tanked before play. Its really that simple. While we promote a good and fun time and completely understand that a few drinks will help calm the nerves and loosen the tongue no one likes a sloppy kinkster… if you are off your face it is likely that your kink etiquette will suffer and you will probably have gaps, lose intensity of all the wonderful rushes you would experience during play. Our suggestion at TheEighthCircle play first then drink up. What you do in the comfort of your home is fine, we are the least judgemental people you will ever meet. However, remember you are in our home too. TheEighthCircle respects your freakiness, kinks and individuality-we support and nourish it. But if you desire to get annihilated and be disrespectful then our events are probably not for you…
Final Word…
If you make a mistake-apologise. Sincerity goes a long way in this lifestyle. You will find most are forgiving and accepting. This is NOT a licence to breach consent, touch everyone, and apologise after. You will be banned. TheEighthCircle is heavily present at each and every party and will not hesitate. If anything arises, it may signal that taking time to educate yourself, read, explore writing on fet, youtube, talk to other members of the community about their opinions, experiences etc. Remember there is no one set rule book of kink, we are all individuals and fantastic freaks in our own right.
TheEighthCircle is here for you to feel safe, supported, and nurtured to explore- judgement free.