A guide from us to you.
Consent
Consent is paramount at TheEighthCircle, serving as the foundation for a safe and enjoyable experience for all participants. Attendees must remember to never touch anyone without explicit consent and should never insert themselves into a BDSM scene without permission. TheEighthCircle team maintain a zero-tolerance policy for violations of consent, ensuring that everyone feels secure and respected. Clear communication about desires, limits, and safe words is essential, allowing individuals to explore their interests confidently. By prioritising respect for all attendees and honouring personal boundaries, we foster a community culture rooted in trust and safety.
Titles and Roles
Don’t assume the titles and roles of attendees at a party. Just because someone appears to be a submissive doesn’t mean they will fit that role, so it’s always best to ask. Understanding and respecting another person’s preferred pronouns is crucial. Please don’t assume that all submissives are female and all Dominants are male.
At a play party, if you know someone is a Domme, for example, don’t simply approach them and say, “Excuse me, Mistress.” This could rub them the wrong way; they may not be attending the party in that capacity or may prefer a different title. Titles can be special and may be reserved for individuals who have earned that distinction through trust and connection.
So, what does this all mean? The best practice is to politely ask how someone would like to be addressed and to stick with that. Pay attention to the names people use in conversation. For example: “Hi, I’m Mistress Sunkist. Lovely to meet you, Jack. How long have you been into kink?”
Finally, if someone introduces themselves with a grandiose name like “Master God of Flogging” and you’re uncomfortable using that title, you absolutely don’t have to. If this happens, please come and speak to your hosts; we are fully equipped to handle these situations.
Ownership
At TheEighthCircle, we want to emphasise that submissives, slaves, bottoms, and similar roles are not communal property. If you are a Dominant, Top, Master, or any other title, you cannot walk into one of our parties and start ordering bottoms around—that’s simply not how it works. While you may interact with one another and, with consent, a Top and a bottom may choose to engage for the evening, such interactions must be negotiated and accepted by all parties involved.
Common sense is a virtue at TheEighthCircle. If you, as a Top, demand a bottom to fetch you something without prior discussion, and they respond by telling you to go away, that is not bratty behaviour—it means just that: go away. This principle works both ways; not all Tops or Dominants present are YOUR Dominant or Top. Unless there is a prior arrangement, please refrain from throwing yourself at their feet.
Protocol
At TheEighthCircle, we host themed events, some of which are more structured than others, such as High Protocol nights. During these events, roles will be assigned, and everyone will have the opportunity to confirm their comfort with the established rules. For example, there may be topless submissives or bottoms serving drinks, as well as service bottoms for specific acts. The use of titles will be pre-negotiated for these events.
Your hosts at TheEighthCircle are dedicated to maintaining safety and comfort. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to speak to us.
Privacy and Identity
This topic ties into gender fluidity as well. Please do not ‘out’ individuals if you know them from the ‘vanilla’ world. Some of our guests may keep their kinks well-hidden and have families or friends who might judge their inclinations.
Everyone’s life and culture are different, and we celebrate that here at TheEighthCircle. If you know Bob and see them attending a party as ‘Brenda,’ for example, please refrain from calling them Bob or discussing work. Use common sense—people often explore different genders and identities within the BDSM community.
Do not ‘out’ individuals for their kinks. This is important not just for our parties, but for the kink community as a whole. If you are mingling outside of the events with both kink and vanilla individuals, please avoid discussing kink without prior consent from your fellow kinkster. We’ve all experienced the awkward “Fifty Shades of Grey” conversation—let’s keep it respectful.
Photography
While photography is not banned, there are simple rules to follow: always gain consent from everyone in the picture before taking or posting it. Do not tag anyone without their explicit prior consent. Other than that, enjoy looking back on the night and relishing the delicious captures of the kinky moments.
A good rule of thumb is this: if it’s not obvious and you’re unsure, just ask.
Kink scenes vs. other scenes
Be aware that different environments have various ways of communicating interest. What is acceptable in the swinging scene may not translate to the kink scene. For example, approaching someone to give a shoulder rub, grab their backside, or spank them may be acceptable at another event, but not at TheEighthCircle. Always communicate your interest first if there has been no prior physical interaction. You need permission before getting touchy.
Pay attention to non-verbal cues; some bottoms, for example, may require a signal from their Top to play, interact, or touch. Remember that theme parties create unique cultures, and you may be a tourist in that environment when attending a kink or fetish event. Always ask for permission to touch and use other people’s toys and equipment, treating them with respect if you have the honour of using them. Most parties at TheEighthCircle will provide communal toys, and we will inform you of their locations. The same rules apply—treat them with respect.
Alcohol and Drugs
Please don’t get excessively intoxicated before engaging in play—it’s really that simple. While we promote a fun and enjoyable atmosphere and understand that a few drinks can help calm nerves and loosen tongues, no one likes a sloppy kinkster. If you are overly inebriated, your kink etiquette may suffer, and you could miss out on the intensity and excitement of your experiences.
At TheEighthCircle, we suggest playing first and then enjoying drinks afterward. What you do in the comfort of your own home is your choice; we are among the least judgmental people you will meet. However, remember that you are in our space too. TheEighthCircle respects your individuality, kinks, and desires—we support and nourish them. If your aim is to get excessively drunk and be disrespectful, then our events are probably not the right fit for you.
Final Word…
If you make a mistake, apologise sincerely. Sincerity goes a long way in this lifestyle, and you will find that most people are forgiving and accepting. However, this is NOT a licence to breach consent, touch others indiscriminately, and then simply apologise afterward. Such behaviour will result in a ban. TheEighthCircle is present at every party and will not hesitate to take action if necessary.
If issues arise, consider this an opportunity to educate yourself—read, explore writings on fetish, watch relevant content on YouTube, and engage with other community members about their opinions and experiences. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all rulebook for kink; we are all unique individuals and fantastic freaks in our own right.
TheEighthCircle is here to provide a safe, supportive, and nurturing environment for you to explore—judgment-free.